Lessons from my Daddies (Yep, you can have more than one)

    There is an adoption/foster care commercial that uses the phrase that goes somewhat like “Just about any man can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy”.  I would like to share three lessons from three dads. 

    First, my father.  As far back as I can remember my father got up early to go to his full-time job (a beef-breaker in a meat packing plant) after leaving that job (normally after some overtime) he would go to other part-time jobs as a bartender /cook so he would get home very late just to get a few hours of sleep and start again the next day.  On the weekends he would take his beat-up old truck to local factories to collect scrap metal, cardboard and such to turn in at the recycling plants for a bit of extra cash.  He worked hard to provide a nice life for the wife and six children he had at home, in my memory we never lacked a necessity and always had just enough of the niceties’ of life.  Looking back I remember seeing in his eyes and on his face the fatigue but I never once heard him say “I’m tired”. 

Lesson one (of many from him): A DADDY provides for his family with every ounce of his energy if necessary.  When he thinks he can’t go any further he’ll dig a little deeper inside and succeed.  Now that he’s well into his 70’s it’s about time I say a heart felt Thank You to a DADDY that dug a little deeper each day.  When an important need has to be met but I’m tired, I look to your example and somehow push through. 

    Moving forward a few years I’d like you to meet Arthur (my wife’s father).  Art was also a loving, hard working family man.  Besides his family he also loved working with wood, he could make any piece of furniture you wanted and had the wood shop to do it.  The first couple of years when me and the wife would visit I would go and play around in the shop making small items that would rival any high school woodshop project.  Then came a big change in my life, my wife was expecting our first child.  Somehow the idea of making a cradle came up (at that time a project that was well beyond my skills).  The wood in the shop was all rough cut sawmill lumber so it took a lot of work to trim and fit the pieces together but Art always seemed to be in the shop working on a little this or that when I needed a bit of advice or guidance and occasionally working in a hint when I wasn’t smart enough to ask a question but never to the point of giving me the filling he was looking over my shoulder.  The cradle was finished and has made it through my two children; I hope it sees it through grandchildren and great grandchildren. 

Lesson two:  A Daddy stands far enough away to allow the child (or others) the sense of accomplishment in bringing their vision to light but close enough to keep them on the right path and knowing when to drop the subtle (or not so subtle) hint.  Art passed away several years back and I miss him but the woodshop is still there.  I try to stop in and build a little something every couple of weeks, just to fill him standing by my side.  Thank You DADDY for the skills and the love of creating something beautiful out of some wood, glue, sweat and vision.

      Finally I never met the third man who inspired me; he taught me a life lesson but I’ve never seen him in person.  I joined the Air Force in 1981 and I’ll be honest with you the military was still suffering the effects of the hollow force from the 70’s.  My first duty assignment was at Scott AFB IL.  As I walked into the dorm on day one I was greeted by two guys standing in the hallway smoking a joint (wow this wasn’t much of a change from what I left in the civilian world).  The facilities were old and rundown. The first jet I was assigned to maintain was a 1959 Jetstar (two years older than me).  Moral was in the basement.  But change was coming, slow at first, then at a furious pace.  Facilities were refurbished or completely rebuilt, our equipment was updated.  All under the leadership of one man, President Ronald Reagan.  Moral began to build at a steady pace matching our increased capabilities.  President Reagan led with an air of honor, a steadfast commitment to the ideas that made the United States the greatest nation in history and a sense of obligation to those who he may have to call upon to protect the ideas and freedoms of our nation.

Lesson three:  A DADDY provides all the skills and tools for success that he can.  President Reagan also passed some years back, he never knew it but he left me with some great tools, he set the example of honor, commitment and integrity, they have served me well.  Thank You DADDY.

If I were in charge of the Great Man Hall of Fame, you just met the first three inductees.

Three men in my life, three Daddies, three short stories, three lessons but we’re not quite done yet.  There is a fourth lesson, in all that a daddy does, all the lessons he may teach, most of the time he will never know because he does it out of love.  A challenge to each man out there, (father or not) be a DADDY to someone todayJ

See you in a week

The TOMCAT